I recently had to say goodbye to my best friend and baby girl Roxy. Roxy came into my life 11 years ago as a “Rescue Boxer,” but it was always clear that she was the one who rescued me. Roxy found me in my darkest days, a time where my addiction to prescription pills had nearly killed me. These last couple of weeks have allowed me to reflect on how bright of a light she was for me and my life.
I think about the times when I was so down and out that I couldn’t even get off my couch. The years of addiction had me paralyzed in anxiety and fear. I was buried in guilt and shame from the pain I had caused, and the life I was living. So many times I would just lay there and cry, not knowing what to do next. But she was always there to lick the tears off my face. Roxy ALWAYS showed and showered me with the love I didn’t think I deserved.
During this time in my life, there was one thing I knew for sure. I didn’t love myself and didn’t know how to love others. I hated the person I had become, so I could I love anybody else?
Having time to reflect, I now realize that it was she who taught me how to love. Roxy taught me the meaning of loyalty, presence and unconditional love. She always showed up to love me hard, and love me unconditionally. This is the gift and I will always hold onto!
Letting go of Rox was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The two words that keep coming up from this whole experience are: Heartbroken & Grateful
My heart hurts not having her in the physical, but I’ve gained invaluable tools to help me fulfill my purpose here on earth. So much inspiration has come to me since she’s left.
A dogs purpose is to “be here now.” No other being on this earth could use this lesson more than us humans. We’ve become “human doings” instead of “human beings.” To see a world that is addicted and afflicted to distraction (including myself), lights a fire within me to share this message.
You see, in the “doing” there’s this idea that we’re always trying to get somewhere. But, in this doing, we never actually arrive. It’s hard to stop, I know. But, it’s when we stop and pause that we experience true presence. This is what we all truly want, but we’ve gotten distracted.
If we can use death as an ally, it shows us how to live. Life becomes more vibrant. We become more alive. When we truly understand that there is no guarantee tomorrow will come for us or those we love, it is then that we learn to “be here now.”
When we are born, we are all given a limited amount of breaths. So, how are you using your breath? Are you wasting your breath? Or, are you making each breath count?
“The problem is you think you have time.”